


It’s been a long time comin, couldn’t keep on runnin (Had to hit rock bottom to know)

by passthehockey



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Amnesia fic, Brock is iconic, Elias can’t remember a thing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, idk how to tag, no beta we die like real men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:27:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25622875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/passthehockey/pseuds/passthehockey
Summary: He sucks in a deep breath, alerting whoever is in the room with him that he’s awake.It’s Brock. Brock? Why is Brock here?“Boeser?” Elias manages to rasp out. His throat feels thick.
Relationships: Brock Boeser/Elias Pettersson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 50





	1. Choosing your battles, pick yourself up

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, just, idk how to do this, but-
> 
> PLEASE NOTE: this is a work of fiction, about fictional characters based on the public persona of real people, this is not about the REAL people. please do not link this to the real people associated with this work of fiction, or if you are or are in contact with a person who shares a namesake in this work of fiction, please close your tab.
> 
> Thank you and goodnight! Jk please keep reading if you want!

Quiet. It’s so quiet, save for a faint beeping sound as Elias comes to. He doesn’t really know where he is, the room is bright, way too bright for Elias to feel any type of okay.

He sucks in a deep breath, alerting whoever is in the room with him that he’s awake.

It’s Brock. Brock? Why is Brock here?

“Boeser?” Elias manages to rasp out. His throat feels thick.

“Petey, thank god, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” Brock looks extra concerned, more than he ever has been for Elias.

“Not good.” He mumbles out as Brock grasps his hand.

Elias fights the urge to pull away. “What happened?” He asks. What he really means is- why am I in a hospital? “Why are you here? You don’t have to be.” 

“Are you okay? Of course I have to be here, Petey, we’re getting married in three weeks.” Brock let’s out a nervous laugh.

“Since when? We’re dating?” Elias is floored. Last he checked, it was his rookie year with the Canucks and he didn’t even know Brock more than a friend.

“Yeah, did you forget?” Brock looks scared. “Stop playing with me.”

“I’m not, I, since when? Tell me.” Elias bargains. He just wants to know, he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

“Elias.” Brock says slowly. “Tell me the date.”

“December thirteenth-“ for a moment there, Brock looks hopeful, but that all fades when Elias says the year. “2018”

“Shit.” Brock curses.

“It’s not December?” Elias asks, feeling so helpless as Brock stares at him.

“It’s not 2018.” Brock whispers, and what.

“Yes it is.” Elias argues. “Hand me my phone, I’ll prove it.”

Brock hands Elias his phone without words, letting him find out the date.

Elias opens his phone, surprised to find a picture of him and Brock, engagement rings or something on their hands.

After a few moments, Elias opens the calendar app, and. “It’s not 2018.”

“Yeah.” Brock whispers.

“It’s 2021.” Elias says. “How?!”

“I think that I should get the doctor.” Brock says quietly, which scares Elias.

* * *

They run tests, the try to figure out what’s wrong.

“Amnesia.” One of Elias’ doctors says. “It’ll likely go away after a while, but it might take some time and familiar things to jog his memory.”

Elias feels helpless.

* * *

This isn’t the apartment Elias remembers. He know’s that it’s Brock’s, but the furniture has been moved around and there are different curtains. They’re blue and green, which makes Elias laugh.

He stands in the living room, staring at the curtains, laughing, for a long time.

“What are you laughing at?” Brock walks into the room, two bottles of water in his hands. He offers one to Elias, who takes it.

“The curtains, Canucks colors.” Elias giggles.

“That’s what you picked when you moved in.” Brock says softly. “Said the old ones were ugly.”

“I don’t recall.” Elias smiles.

“You don’t recall anything.” Brock says. He sounds slightly distant, which wipes the smile right off Elias’ face.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers, wishing it wasn’t like this. Wishing he remembered. 

“It’s okay.” Brock says. It’s not okay, obviously, but what can Elias do?

“Can you tell me what I missed?” Elias asks. “Because I’m 100 percent sure that it’s not my rookie year and I’m also 100 percent sure that last I checked, I don’t remember us even dating.”

Brock goes even more quiet, staring at the carpet.

“Um, where do you want me to start?” Brock finally asks.

“December thirteenth 2018.” Elias whispers.

Brock looks absolutely heartbroken when he begins to talk, and it just makes Elias want to cry.

“Um, so. Twenty eighteen, your rookie year. You stayed with me a lot, and that’s how everything started. We just kind of took off from there, and ever since we’ve been inseparable. Everyone used to joke that we were conjoined twins.” Brock says, and when he looks up from the spot on the carpet, He’s crying.

“I’m sorry.” Elias says quietly.

“No, god no, don’t be sorry, Petey.” Brock says, even though his eyes are glazed over and he’s frowning.

Elias tries his best not to cry, but it doesn’t work in his favor, and Brock’s hug does little to save him from that. 

“Where do you want to sleep tonight?” Brock asks softly. “Y’know, we sleep in the same bed, but like, we don’t have to, until you remember.”

“No, I want to.” Even though Elias can’t remember shit, he still knows that Brock carries that warm sense of security that nobody else he knows (or thinks he knows, trades coulda happened,) has.

“Are you sure?” Brock asks. Elias feels like Brock’s treating him like a fragile package, and he doesn’t quite like it.

“You know, I’m fine. I can’t remember shit, but nothing else is really wrong, besides the whole sprained wrist, and you still haven’t even told me what happened To land me here with no memory and a sprained wrist.” Elias spits. “Please, stop acting like I’m going to shatter.”

“Maybe I’m the one who’s gonna shatter.” Brock whispers. “Maybe you’re okay, but I’m not.”

“Brock,” Elias whispers. “I’m sorry. I should go. You probably don’t want me here anyways.”

“Where are you gonna go?” Brock asks, and true.

Elias doesn’t know who is still on the team and who’s not. “I don’t know.” At this point, he’s slumped against the couch, crying. “Who’s still on the team?”

“Don’t leave, please,” Brock pleads. “I’m sorry. You can stay.”

“Okay.” Elias agrees easily. “Am I allowed to sleep in our bed?”

The words sound weird on his tongue. Our bed. Their bed. Wow.

“Yes, if you’re comfortable with it. If not, that’s okay too.” Brock says.

“I think I’d be okay with that.”

Elias finally gets Brock to tell him what happened to land him in the hospital, and it isn’t pretty.

Brock tells him right before they go to bed.

“So let’s start off, you got hit, really hard,” Brock cringes, like it was a painful moment.“And you kinda just, slid across the ice, and we all thought you were gonna be fine, but then you didn’t get up, and they had do, um, drag you off the ice on a stretcher, and this was at the game against the Flyers, Travis Konecny hit you.”

Elias doesn’t remember, but he still flinches away at the thought.

“I cried for three days until you woke up.” Brock whispers.

“Was I just dead the whole time?” Elias whispers

“Sorta, they had you in a coma, just to make sure there wasn’t any bad brain damage, or stuff like that.” Brock tell Elias.

“Aha. Obviously had some, then.” Elias laughs a humourless laugh.

“Yeah, well, I hope it comes back.” Brock says. He sounds distant again, even if he’s lying pressed up against Elias’ back.

“Where’s the ring?” Elias asks suddenly. “You have one, I don’t. Why?”

Brock giggles. “You never had one.”

“What do you mean?” It’s not like Elias is genuinely concerned, but he is.

“When I proposed-“

“You proposed?! You?!”

“Yes, let me finish.” Brock says gently. “You has always said you never wanted a ring if someone proposed. So we got a dog instead of a ring for you.”

“A dog?!” Elias squeals. “What happened to it?”

“She’s staying with Bo right now, we thought it would be best since, you know,” Brock says.

“What’s her name?” Elias asks.

“Jibbitz.” Brock laughs, and Elias is so confused. 

“Did you name it?” He asks, running a hand along Brock’s forearm.

“No, you did.” Brock laughs again, and Elias loves the sound.

“What does she look like?!” Elias asks.

“Cutest black lab you’ve ever seen. Pink nose, cute eyes.” Brock describes the dog.

“Aw. Can we get her back here?” Elias asks.

“I’ll ask Bo tomorrow.” Brock says. “You should probably rest, you’ve had a day.”

“I’m never gonna fall asleep, I was asleep for three days.” Elias says, nuzzling his face into Brock’s neck.

“You really should, if you wanna remember stuff.” Brock whispers. It sounds as though he might be falling asleep.

“Fine.” Elias murmurs, letting his eyes close.


	2. Some may say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How am I saying it wrong? It’s my nickname!” Elias says, grinning.
> 
> “You’re pronouncing it like peht-ee,” Brock breaks it down. It’s supposed to sound like pea-tee.”

There’s like, three weeks until Brock and Elias get married.

What the fuck?

Elias is confused. He knows he loves Brock, but he doesn’t really know how they’ve changed to fit each other, what sacrifices they’ve had to make.

Elias just needs an extra thorough rundown of what has happened in the last three years from somebody other than Brock, but he doesn’t know how to ask.

He finds his phone sitting on the kitchen counter. And opens it. And doesn’t know what to do, and before long, Brock is peering over his shoulder, watching Elias stare at his phone lock screen.

“You okay?” Brock asks, artfully moving around the kitchen. “Do you want Mac n cheese for lunch? It’s your favorite.”

And that’s the one thing Elias already knows. He loves Mac n cheese.

“I know. I’ve liked Mac n cheese since I was four.” Elias says softly. “What kind? Shells?”

“Shells.” Brock confirms with a small smile, and Elias can finally gauge how this is affecting Brock.

The Brock that Elias remembers from his rookie year, if this is all correct, was warm and always happy, a bubble of safe and calm.

This new Brock is half distant, probably due to the fact that Elias doesn’t know what’s going on, and he’s scared all of the time. (The whole day that Elias has known that they were getting married.)

“Brock, when can we get Jibbitz from Bo?” Elias asks suddenly. “I want to meet her.”

Brock opens his mouth like he was going to say something, and then closes it, only to speak a moment later. “Yeah. Sure.”

“You don’t sound sure.” Elias says, before he can stop himself. “You don’t sound sure of anything, and you’re walking on eggshells.”

“I’m not.” Brock stiffens, and yeah. Elias is right. “Petey...” he says, almost as if a warning.

“Stop. Just like, let me hug you. You can cry, you can tell me anything, you know?” Elias says softly, moving in to hug Brock.

“I remember why I proposed to you.” Brock whispers. “I love you, but now I’m afraid you don’t feel the same way, and fuck, we’re getting married in three weeks.”

“I’m sorry I can’t remember.” Elias whispers. He’s on the verge of tears, but he’s trying not to cry on Brock when he’s the one who needs a supportive shoulder.

“No, Petey, it’s not your fault. You’re not in the wrong.” Brock says, holding Elias tight.

“How come you only call me Petey?” Elias asks. “Is it a nickname?”

“Oh, shit.” Brock curses. “You don’t even remember back to when we gave you the nickname, February of your rookie year.”

“Petey.” Elias says. “What does that mean?”

“Your last name, it’s Pettersson, so we all kinda threw in the hat and decided on Petey.” Brock says fondly, like he’s remembering it himself.

If only Elias could do the same.

“Sounds funny.” Elias whispers. “Petey?”

“You’re saying it wrong.” Brock says, grinning. “It’s Petey, not Petey.”

“How am I saying it wrong? It’s my nickname!” Elias says, grinning.

“You’re pronouncing it like peht-ee,” Brock breaks it down. It’s supposed to sound like pea-tee.”

“Weird!” Elias says. “Petey.” He tests the word out, now that he knows it’s his nickname.

“That’s you, bud.” Brock says.

“Can’t believe it.” Elias nuzzles into Brock’s side. “Can we make Mac n cheese now?”

“Do you want to get your dog or make Mac n cheese first?” Brock asks, taking Elias’ hands in his.

“Can we get the dog first? Please?” Elias asks politely.

“Yes we can.” Brock hugs Elias.

Elias doesn’t let go of Brock’s hand as they walk out the door.

* * *

Brock was right. Jibbitz is the most loveable dog Elias has ever met, besides Brock’s dog, Coolie, and Elias wonders if something happened to him, since there’s been no mention of the other dog.

Whilst Elias is playing with his dog, Brock and Bo talk.

“Does he know about Coolie?” Bo asks as Elias tosses a ball across the yard for Jibbitz.

“I haven’t told him, no. He’ll probably cry.” Brock pauses. “I probably will too.”

“It’s a shame what happened to him.” Bo says.

“God, Petey loves that dog.”

“I know. He loved her when we got her, but he just doesn’t remember.” Brock smiles fondly.

“Cute. I’m glad you two figured it out.”

“Took some time, and now with this memory gap it’s going to take even more time.” Brock whispers, keeping his eyes on Elias.

“Yeah.” Bo agrees. “That sucks.”

“I hope he doesn’t regret anything.” Brock says, still watching Elias.

“What do you mean?” Bo asks.

“Like, I dunno. Maybe he doesn’t really wanna get married or something. Maybe he doesn’t even really wanna date me. Maybe he doesn’t even really like me anymore.” Brock is so so worried.

“You gotta relax, Boeser. Petey probably hasn’t changed all that much in a week. It’ll come back.” Bo smiles.

“How is he not cold yet?” Brock whispers. “I’m freezing.”

“He just met a dog he didn’t know he had, of course he’s gonna he excited, even if it’s thirteen degrees.” Bo grins.

Elias bounds up to Brock then, grinning wildly. “Jag älskar denna hund nästan lika mycket som jag älskar dig.”

“What?” Brock says. “I don’t know Swedish.”

“I love Jibbitz almost as much as I love you.” Elias leans against Brock’s shoulder.

“That’s good- wait.” Brock pauses, and Elias stiffens. “How do you know you love me?”

Elias watches as Bo shoots a warning look at Brock.

“I don’t know. I guess I just do.” Elias whispers.

“Damn. Me too.” Brock says, pulling Elias into a hug. Elias thinks it’s so he doesn’t have to see Brock cry again.

“Can we take the dog home now?” Elias finally asks.

Brock nods.

Elias doesn’t feel great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Petey is like, WILDLY out of character, but I suppose it’s okay, given the circumstances


	3. For worse or for better, from now til forever, I’ll always remember you young

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brock looks at Bo, Bo looks at Elias, and Elias panics. Nobody told the team, the team that Elias only half remembers.

“So I’ve been meaning to ask, what ever happened to Coolie?” Elias asks one morning as he, Brock and Jibbitz are lying on the couch before morning skate.

Elias hasn’t exactly been cleared to play in tonight’s game, but he can still come and skate with the team.

Brock visibly swallows, and suddenly, Elias wishes he didn’t ask.

“God, I don’t know how to start that.” Brock laughs wetly, and when Elias looks over, Brock is crying.

He seems to have cried a lot in the past two days.

“Did he die?” Elias whispers.

“Do think you’ll be okay if I tell you the story? It involves you, so,” Brock asks, smoothing Elias’ hair back from where it’s fallen across his forehead.

“I think.”

“Okay, so, um.” Brock looks nervous. “Last Fourth of July, you came to Minnesota. That was also when I proposed, earlier that day, and we had been lighting off fireworks and Coolie got to close to one and, you know,” Brock sniffs.

“Oh my god.” Elias whispers.

“You, you, um, lit one off, and I called for Coolie, but he loved you, so he kept standing by your side, and you screamed the most horrific scream,”

Elias falls silent, completely silent. He caused Coolie’s death. Shit.

“Yep, that wasn’t something I wanted to talk about today.” Brock whispers to himself.

Elias cries. “I, I killed him?!” He sobs.

Brock shakes his head, “not your fault,” and pulls Elias into a tight hug.

“Yes it is!” Elias cries. He feels horrible. “Coolie’s dead because of me,”

“Baby, Petey, no. It’s okay, it happened a long time ago, and we can’t change the past. We’ve got Jibbitz now, and don’t you want to give her the same love that you gave Coolie?” Brock asks, Gently, as not to set Elias off again.

“Yeah.” Elias sighs. “But-“

“Shhh.” Brock says, pulling Elias back into a hug. “Don’t worry about it.”

Elias ends up falling asleep on Brock after crying for almost exactly twelve minutes.

“Hey buddy,” Elias opens his eyes to find Brock standing over him, whispering. “You wanna come to skate?”

Elias nods almost immediately, causing Brock to laugh softly.

“Get up then, get dressed in something that isn’t your pyjamas.”

* * *

Elias is silent as he walks into the locker room for morning skate, but everyone else isn’t. He doesn’t even remember a few of these people.

Everyone flocks him all at once, and Elias is overwhelmed, all until Bo is telling everyone to give him space.

“Guys!” Bo’s voice booms through the room. “Give Petey some space. Besides, you all need to know something first.”

Brock looks at Bo, Bo looks at Elias, and Elias panics. Nobody told the team, the team that Elias only half remembers.

“So you know how Elias was in a coma for three days,” Bo looks uncomfortable, and Elias doesn’t blame him. It’s uncomfy for him too.

The team nods, and Bo continues. “Elias might not remember all of you.”

The room goes so silent that you could hear a pin drop, until a young looking guy with dark hair and that “I’m always tired” look speaks up.

“So Petey doesn’t know who any of us are?” He asks, and Elias wants to run away.

“Probably not you, Quinner, but that’s because he only remembers up to his rookie year and that’s it.” Brock ends up explaining. “Since you were last years rookie, he definitely won’t remember you.”

“Well damn.”

It’s quiet after that, everyone just putting their gear on and heading out to the ice.

Elias watches Brock go, and stays in the locker room with Bo.

“So. How are you feeling, kiddo?”

Elias shrugs.

“Seriously.”

“I don’t know. Weird.” Like I don’t belong anywhere, Elias wants to add, but doesn’t.“Did you know that I killed Brock’s dog?” He asks, changing the subject.

“You did not. That isn’t what happened, and it wasn’t your fault that Coolie got too close to the fireworks.” Bo reassures, but Elias still doesn’t feel all to great.

“Can I just skate? It’s been a long time.” Elias tried to deflect once more, but Bo can see right through him.

“You’re being really weird, this isn’t like you.” Bo says before he can stop himself.

“Shut the fuck up! I don’t know what I’m supposed to act like! I don’t know who I am!” The sob that escapes Elias’ throat is a surprise to both men.

“Okay, okay.” Bo whispers. “You’re okay.”

“So please, please can I skate?! It’s the only normal thing I have.” Elias begs.

“You can skate. Be careful though, or Brock might kill all of us. He really loves you, you know?”

“I know.” Elias whispers. “Everyone keeps telling me.” 

“You’re a good kiddo, it’ll come back eventually.” Bo tells him, standing up to move to the ice.

Elias doesn’t think it’ll come back.

* * *

Skate is hard, but refreshing. It feels like he hasn’t skated in eons, but at the same time, it feels like he was just skating yesterday.

Elias mostly just stands along the boards while the team carries on with morning skate, watching Brock intently as he jokes with his teammates.

“Petey!” Someone calls, and when Elias looks up, its the guy that Brock called Quinner, grinning at him. “Think fast!”

Then, a puck is sailing right at Elias’ stick. He catches the pass with ease, smiling. “What do you want me to do with this?”

“Score a goal!” Brock yells from beside Quinner. “Quinn wants to see a beauty!”

So Quinn not Quinner. That makes a lot more sense.

Elias fires the shot towards the net, but their goalie, DEMKO, as it says on the back of his jersey, blocks the shot.

* * *

Morning skate is fun, Elias concludes, but now that Brock has to leave for the game, it’s not so fun. 

“Why do you have to go?” Elias asks. “Can’t you just like, stay here?”

“I could, but I missed a game when you were in the hospital, I have to go to this one.” Brock protests weakly, falling back onto the bed where Elias is lying.

“It’s okay.” Elias says, finally letting go of Brock’s hand. “You want to play, you should.”

“When I come back,” Brock promises, kissing Elias’ forehead. “We can do something.”

Elias thinks he knows what that thing is.

* * *

Okay, of course he and Brock have had sex, only Elias doesn’t quite remember it.

He doesn’t remember anything.

But god, Brock feels so good inside him. So, so good, and then Elias is crying.

He’s done this before, but he can’t remember when. He remembers the feeling, and prior to his rookie year, he never did this with a man.

Brock immediately stops, checking to make sure Elias is okay. “Is everything alright?” He asks.

“I don’t know, I remember the feeling of this.” Elias cries. “I just can’t remember when we’ve done this.”

Brock just holds Elias, the mood ruined, and quite frankly, Elias might be okay with that. He’s had a big day, and He’s exhausted.

“I think they might come back soon.” Elias whispers as he’s about to drift into sleep.

Brock just sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have forgot to tell you all that this story takes place in the wackiest of time, and it’s just sorta there, and you can’t think too hard on when it would actually be set in. :)


	4. I don’t dance, but here I am, spinning you round and around in circles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the country music.
> 
> THE COUNTRY MUSIC.
> 
> Seriously, who even is Brock?! Elias doesn’t remember him liking country music.

Elias wakes with a start. He thinks he just remembered something. 

“Brock!” He whisper yells.

Brock wakes up at the mention of his name. “Hm? Elias, did you, bad dream?” He mumbles out.

“No, I think, I remember something.” Elias says. He really doesn’t want to be wrong. “But it’s fine, it can wait until morning.”

“No, I wanna know, even if you aren’t correct.” Brock says, as if he can read Elias’ mind. 

“I think, one time, we were at your lake house in Minnesota, and we brought Jibbitz, Coolie wasn’t there. It had to have been like, August or something, and we were swimming with Jibbitz.” Elias tries to make it understandable to Brock as Jibbitz snuffs from the end of the bed where she hears her name. “Like, just sitting on some- what do you call them- floaties, and Jibbitz was a puppy and she was worried and jumped into the water to save us.”

Elias looks to Brock, giving him a look like ‘did that actually happen or did I dream it.’

Brock thinks for a moment, then his face breaks into a grin. “I have a video of that!”

And Elias cries for what feels like the forevereth time. 

“Let me get my phone, I can show you.” Brock says excitedly.

“Brock, it’s three am.” Elias whispers, already giving in to the tug of sleep once more. “It can wait until morning.”

“Oh.” Elias doesn’t have the heart to watch Brock’s face fall. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry. I’m tired.” Elias apologizes.

“No yeah, you’re good. I suppose...” Brock trails off, flipping over so he’s no longer facing Elias.

“Yes or no?” Elias asks, confused by Brock’s word choice. 

“Huh?”

“You said, No yeah, what does that mean?” Elias asks, settling a hand on Brock’s arm. Brock twitches, and huffs a laugh.

“Minnesota thing, Petey. Go to bed.” 

Petey goes to bed.

Petey wakes up at seven in the morning to Jibbitz whining at him.

“What do you want, puppy?” Elias asks, rubbing Jibbitz’s ears.

Elias gets up out of bed, since the sun is already up and Brock’s side of the bed is cold. 

The first clue that Brock is already awake is the smell of bacon coming from the kitchen.

And the country music.

THE COUNTRY MUSIC.

Seriously, who even is Brock?! Elias doesn’t remember him liking country music.

“Brock!” Elias practically screams, emerging into the kitchen. “Country music?!”

“Rude!” Brock remarks, not fully turning away from the bacon.

“I know, but COUNTRY, Brock. I get that you’re from Minnesota and you like it, but no.” Elias smiles, and Brock fully turns away from the bacon.

“Wanna dance with me?”

“To country? Find a new fiancé.” Elias laughs, and Brock’s smile never fades.

“Please?” Brock asks, grinning stupidly now.

“What would the boys say if they knew you were this much of a country sap?” Elias asks, taking Brock’s hand.

“It’s a good song!” Brock protests, but let’s Elias take his hand.

“The ones that didn’t make it back home by Justin Moore is not a good song, Brock-y.” Elias protests. “It’s a song you cry to.”

Brock freezes, hand still in Elias’. 

Elias notices the freeze. “What?” He asks.

“Did you, you know,”

“Get to the point, Boeser.” Elias says, unsure of what he’s trying to say.

“That song didn’t come out until 2019.” It’s barely a whisper. 

“Really? Weird.” Elias says, reaching for some of the bacon Brock has subconsciously placed on a plate.

“I think you just remembered another thing, Petey.” Brock says, grinning as the song changes to another one Elias half knows.

“What’s this song called?” Elias asks softly, taking Brock’s other hand in his. “I’d dance to this one.”

“Greatest love story.” Brock whispers, drawing Elias into his arms. “Man, I love you.”

Elias feels choked up as he replies, “I, I love you too.”

And it’s like he doesn’t even have to think. He just knows Brock is The One. Who else would it be? None of his other teammates were ever the way Brock was with him.

It’s the only thing he’s holding onto when he can’t remember shit, is Brock. Brock Brock Brock.

He loves Brock.

* * *

So. Suits. White.

“Who picked these?” Elias asks as they try on the suits for their wedding. “Also, how come you never told me this wedding thingy was on actual Christmas? What if I had plans to go to Sweden?”

“We do.” Brock says loosely as he hands Elias the suit and ushers him into the dressing room.

“What?” Elias asks. Brock is never clear with him. That must be how it is, even if Elias has to ask ‘what?’ About twenty billion times a day.

“We do have plans to go to Sweden. We’re getting married here in Vancouver, so the boys don’t have to go broke coming to a wedding of the two boys on their team, and then afterwards we’re going to Sweden for a honeymoon.” Brock wiggles his eyebrows.

“Äckligt!” Elias exclaims, swatting at Brock’s hands. “What’s a honey moon?” Elias asks.

“You don’t know?” Brock asks, then, “you don’t know,” a little slower and more suggestive. 

“No. Are you going to tell me though?” Elias asks, leaning way into Brock’s space as he fiddles with the buttons on the suit coat to take it off the hanger it is currently on.

“After I kiss you.” Brock let’s his suit drop to the floor in the dressing room.

Elias let’s himself be kissed breathless by Brock for a moment, but then pulls away. 

“Seriously, what’s a honey moon?”

Brock laughs.

* * *

Brock has another game tonight, the last game before their Christmas break, but this time, Elias gets to be up in the press box, watching the game.

To say he feels elite would be an understatement.

“I’m gonna wear my suit.” He tells Brock as Brock is making a pregame sandwich. “Do you know where it is?” Elias asks.

“Left side of the closet.” Hanging up.

The funny thing is, over the past few days, Elias has been holding on to the same memory, but he’s been doing really good. He knows Brock like the back of his hand, even if he doesn’t remember why, and the two seem to know exactly everything about each other that they need to to make it work.

It’s amazing. Elias thought he’d never find anyone like this.

“Thanks.” Elias leans over to press a kiss on Brock’s cheek, but Brock turns his head at the right moment, and their lips collide awkwardly, causing the two to laugh.

“You wanna come out for drinks after the game with the boys?” Brock asks as Elais heads for the bedroom.

Elias gives a thumbs up as he walks away, not even turning around. Brock snorts a laugh.

* * *

The game goes really good, and Vancouver gets a shutout against Winnipeg.

Elias goes out with Brock and the team, and actually has a good time, until Bo forces him to talk about the wedding.

And shit.

Elias doesn’t know anything about their wedding besides the white suits.

And another shit.

He has yet to see the video.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brock is big country music man and Elias doesn’t know shit about the wedding besides the fact that HE PICKED WHITE SUITS??!


	5. There’s only so many streets, so many lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Elias.” Bo says. “He made you cry. You two don’t ever hurt each other.”
> 
> “How would I know?!” Elias screams. “I can’t fucking remember!”

Brock shows Elias the video of Jibbitz trying to jump off the dock and save them, and Elias laughs. He laughs and laughs and laughs.

“God, I love this dog, but who’s the other one? He’s a cutie.” Elias points out the tan and white dog in the video who isn’t trying to help.

“That’s Milo. He lives with my parents during the season. We got him so Coolie wouldn’t be so lonely, but then, you know.”Brock says. 

Elias nods, snuggling into Brock’s arms.

“We have a whole week of nothing!” Brock says suddenly, and he’s right. The Canucks last game of 2021 was last night, and now they’ve got a week until the wedding.

“We’re actually doing stuff though, wedding prep.” Elias says.

“Yeah, but that’s still nothing.” Brock says. We can practically do whatever we want for-“

And suddenly, Elias remembers something. “Brock.” He interrupts. “Travis Konecny hit me.”

“Yeah? I told you that. Why are you talking about it now?” Brock asks, raising his eyebrows.

“No, Brock. Travis Konecny hit me.”

“I don’t speak metaphors.” Brock says, growing even more confused by the second.”

“No, Brock. Travis Konecny hit me. Hip check right into the boards, and I hit my head. It hurt so bad. You didn’t tell me that.” Elias says, smiling now, despite the fact that he remembers the pain now.

“He did...” Brock says slowly, like he’s processing it. “He did!” A few seconds later, pulling his phone out of his pocket and pulling up YouTube. “There’s a video on it!”

* * *

There’s this thing, where Elias doesn’t feel great. The last time he remembered something was five days ago, the big hit. 

And now he’s crying in the bathroom because he’s getting married in three days, and his head won’t stop thinking, and Brock just chewed him out for forgetting where they keep the salt and pepper shakers.

Not on the table, obviously.

“Elias?” The knock on the bathroom door is grounding just enough for Elias to finally get some air in his lungs. He can recognize the voice as Bo’s, but he doesn’t know why he’s here. “Can you unlock the door?”

Elias unlocks the door.

Bo stares at him for a few moments. He’s probably not used to seeing Elias in breakdown mode.

“Brock is gonna be real sorry he made you cry.” Bo says suddenly, turning to walk away, probably to go hurt Brock or something, and Elias can’t let that happen.

He stands up quickly, catching Bo’s sleeve in his hands. “Please,” Elias begs. “Don’t hurt him. He’s just frustrated with me.”

“Elias.” Bo says. “He made you cry. You two don’t ever hurt each other.”

“How would I know?!” Elias screams. “I can’t fucking remember!”

“Elias.” Bo says again, softer this time. “Just let me talk to him.”

Elias narrows his eyes. “Fine. But if you hurt him, I’ll kill you.” 

“Noted. Take care of yourself, Elias. If you ever need to talk, we’re all here.” Bo tells him before exiting the bathroom.

Elias stays in the bathroom until Brock comes back without Bo.

“I’m sorry for getting mad at you.” Brock whispers, offering a hand to pull Elias off the floor. 

“It’s okay. The shakers were in the cupboard beside the fridge, right?” Elias asks.

“How do you do that?” Brock asks.

“I don’t know, the memories usually come to me like that.” Elias snaps his fingers. “So far only three big things, the lake house, certain songs, and little stuff like where the salt shaker is.”

“Cute.” Brock says, but he’s not looking at Elias. Kind off. He’s looking at Elias’ lips.

“You can kiss me.” Elias says, voice softer and lower. “You don’t have to ask.”

“Okay, yeah.” Brock says, drawing Elias in. “But, do you want to?” Brock is still staring at Elias’ lips, so Elias takes initiative, wetting his lips with a dart of tongue, then closing the gap.

Brock settles his hands on Elias’ hips, and oh. Oh yeah. They’re gonna fuck.

“Brock,” Elias groans. “Can we like, move this to the bedroom?”

“Yeah, yeah, Brock gasps out, tugging Elias towards the bedroom.

It’s good, the sex is always good with Brock, and for some reason, Elias got to top this time.

They’re both sweaty, breathless, as Elias gets a hand around Brock’s dick, and that’s it, they’re both done, Elias collapsing onto Brock.

“I love you.” Elias whispers.

* * *

Two days.

Elias stares at himself in the mirror.

He’s not ready. He’s really not ready. “Brock?” He manages to call out before the full wave of panic hits.

Brock catches Elias before his legs give out. “What’s going on?” Brock asks softly, brushing Elias’ hair off his forehead as he gasps for air.

“I don’t know. I’m scared.” Elias says. To get married, he doesn’t add.

“About what?” Brock asks softly. “You don’t have to be scared.”

“Getting married.” Elias says quietly, afraid of Brock’s reaction. 

“Why?” Brock just asks, just as quiet as Elias. 

“I don’t know, like, I want to get married to you but I’m afraid it’ll change us.” Elias says. 

“What do you mean?” Brock asks. 

“I mean, like, we’re really good together now. You’re not afraid that a legal bind would change that at all?” Elias asks.

“No, I mean, why would it? We already act like we’re married already.” Brock says, taking Elias’ hands in his.

“So you aren’t afraid of marrying your boyfriend who doesn’t remember much of the past three years?” Elias asks, staring up at Brock. 

“No!” Brock startles. “Why would I be? You’re still the same person, even if you did get a little dumber.”

“Hey!” Elias says, but now he’s laughing. 

“I’ve never met a guy who couldn’t remember where the salt shaker was until after he got chewed out by it.” Brock laughs, grinning.

“That’s literally Quinn! Don’t you remember that time we went to a restaurant after the game in Minnesota and he dropped the salt shaker and it spilled all over the floor?” Elias yells. “It’s the salt! Salt is like, Americans weird thingy-“

“Elias!” Brock says suddenly, effectively getting him to shut up. “That happened last season! It was back in January.”

“Really?” Elias snaps his fingers. “I told you, the just come to me.”

“That was a good one, though. Anything else?” Brock asks, and he’s obviously trying to not be pushy, but Elias panics.

“Uh, no. I’m sorry. You’re probably mad.” 

“I’m not mad, honey. At least you remember things.” Brock draws Elias into his arms. “Now you should probably go to sleep. Tomorrow’s a big day.”

“The wedding isn’t even tomorrow, and If I’m going to sleep, so are you.” Elias yanks on Brock’s arm, dragging him towards the bedroom. 

“Fine Fine Fine.” Brock holds up his hands in protest. “Besides, tomorrow is still a big day, everyone’s flying in.”

Elias freezes. “Oh shit.” He has family. Family he hasn’t ‘seen’ in three years. He doesn’t really remember much about his family. “I don’t remember much about my family, or yours!” Elias panics for what feels like the billionth time.

“It’s okay, they all know what’s going on. They’re not gonna push you or anything, I’ve told my parents and yours, and they’ve told siblings.” Brock reassures.

Elias doesn’t feel a ton better, but fuck it. He doesn’t need to. “Can you just hug me?” Elias asks quietly, and Brock doesn’t even say anything, just wraps his arms around Elias’ frail body.

“I love you.” Brock whispers.

“I love you too.” Elias whispers, closing his eyes.

Maybe he’ll remember before the wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talking actual hockey here: the Wild beat the Canucks on Sunday, and I was too busy being happy to write this. It felt wrong, writing about two players of a team that just lost to my team. Sorry about the later than usual update.


	6. And we still got forever to go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Fine. But this next song is nice, dance with me?” Brock asks.
> 
> “No. Your family’s in the kitchen. I dance weird.” Elias says, even though he’s smiling.

Brock’s parents are... something. They seem to love Elias whether or not he remembers them. They seem familiar though, and Elias holds fast to that feeling. 

Country music becomes a theme. Brock’s parents like it, and until Elias’ parents fly in that evening, it’s like the house is running on country.

Elias wants to scream. Does he? Well, no. Not to anybody’s face, and he just puts onthat ‘I fucking hate this’ face that he’s so good at.

“Petey.” Brock says. “Are you okay?”

Elias spins around to face Brock, pointing a finger at him. “What’s with the country music?!”

“My family likes it, I’m sorry. We can change it.” Brock apologizes, taking Elias’ hands in his.

And for a moment, Elias goes soft. “We don’t have to change it. I know you like it, but anything other than the sad country.” 

“Fine. But this next song is nice, dance with me?” Brock asks.

“No. Your family’s in the kitchen. I dance weird.” Elias says, even though he’s smiling.

“Please?” Brock asks, leaning in close.

“Fine.” Elias mumbles, leaning into Brock’s touch, swaying with him. They stay like that for a while, just swaying and holding each other, listening to a song Elias doesn’t recognize.

“Oh, boys,” Brock’s mom pokes her head around the corner, causing the two men to jump apart. “I didn’t mean to interrupt, but I think you should leave soon if you want to pick up Elias’ parents on time.”

Brock looks at the clock on the wall. “Oh, shit. Yeah, let’s go.”

Elias leans against Brock the entire way out to the car, always holding his arm.

“Can you drive?” Elias finally asks. “I’m really tired.”

Brock nods, and the second they’re actually driving to the airport, Elias is conked out in the passenger seat of Brock’s car. 

All Brock can do is smile fondly as he keeps driving.

* * *

Brock warns Elias’ parents that he’s asleep right away. They think it’s cute, but Brock is just worried about waking him. It will likely cause a cranky Petey later.

“I think it’s cute that Petey is sleeping, but can I wake him up?” Comes from the backseat, from Elias’ brother Emil.

“No!” Everyone says in unison, except Elias and Emil, because Elias is sleeping. 

“Let your brother rest.” Elias’ mom says. 

* * *

Brock ends up having to carry a half dead Elias Pettersson back to the apartment, but he doesn’t mind. 

Elias and Brock’s parents leave for their hotels later than Brock would like, but he deals with it.

He waits a few moments before actually heading to bed, letting Elias get as much restful sleep as he can.

* * *

Brock wakes in the early hours of the morning to the sounds of Elias having what seems to be a panic attack.

The light is on in the adjoining bathroom, Brock can see the light through the bottom of the door. He can also hear the unmistakable sound of dry heaving.

Brock flings the covers off, going to the bathroom door. “Petey?” Brock asks.

“Y-yeah?” Elias sounds shaky, and Brock wants to cry.

“Can you let me in, Buddy?” 

“I, yes, No. I don’t know. I don’t want you to see me fall apart.” Elias says quietly, and Brock can tell he’s scared for the reaction.

“Okay then.” Brock says. “But I’m gonna sit outside this door until you tell me why you’re having a panic attack at-“ Brock looks at his phone in his hand- “three fifty six am.”

“I am scared.” Elias says almost immediately. “No, not to get married to you, I know that you are the one, but,” he trails off.

“Funny how you know I’m the one.” Brock comments. “Imagine if like, you thought Quinn was the one.”

“Brock!” Elias screeches, but Brock can tell he’s smiling now. “Oh my god I would never. Not Quinn. No offence, but he’s not you.”

“Thanks buddy.” Brock whispers, leaning his head against the door. “You think you want to come outta there?”

“Yeah.” Elias says. 

Brock hears the click of the lock, and Elias opens the door. Brock falls backwards, hitting the tile floor with an audible thud.

“du är så dum, varför älskar jag dig?” Elias rolls his eyes.

“You’re mean. Help me off the floor.” Brock says. 

“Do it yourself. You’re a hockey player.” Elias says, sticking a hand out to help him up.

Once they’re back in bed, Brock poses the question again. “Can you tell me why you’re so scared?”

“I think it’s because I don’t remember how this all started.” Elias says bravely. “Like, how we got together. I know how you proposed and stuff, but what was it like, when we first got together?”

“Crazy. We were really close for a long while, then somebody thought we were dating, and we just decided that it would be good if we did date.” Brock explains, half petting Elias’ hair. 

“Was that ‘someone’ Stech?” Elias asks. “I feel like it was him.”

“You guessed it. And then everyone had to go in and say they thought we were dating. Oh, and the funniest part is that this all happened while we were on a roadie on the east coast.” Brock giggles.

“Did you just giggle?” Elias asks.

“No. You’re sleep deprived. Go to sleep.” Brock giggles again.

“Fuck you.”

* * *

Elias is standing in the little room that someone has set aside for him and Brock to change into their suits, only Brock has left by now, and there’s just Elias, grumbling as he pulls on the stupid white suit.

Why’d he have to pick white? Elias knows he just looks like a ghost in white, with his pale complexion.

“Elias?” He hears behind him. His mother. “((Oh, you look so handsome.))”

Elias grimaces. “(( I’m stupid for picking white.))”

“((You don’t remember. It’s okay.))” his mother says, and she’s grinning. “((Brock is so good for you. I’m glad that this is happening.))”

“((Me too.))” Elias smiles softly. “((I really love him, even if I can’t remember a whole lot.))”

“((Well, I’ll leave you be. Your dad is gonna walk you down.))” Elias’ mother leaves then, leaving Elias to think.

He’s really gonna do this. He’s really about to get married to his best friend, the guy who’s shown him nothing but love and kindness during this time.

Elias loves Brock.

“Elias?” It’s his father. “((You are ready?))”

Elias nods. He’s at a loss of words now.

It’s a beautiful venue, really. A fancy yacht club near a lake that’s frozen over, the ice almost completely clear, but Elias isn’t thinking about that. He’s thinking about Brock.

Brock is smiling his lopsided smile, and Elias’ heart melts. 

All the guests stand, and Elias falls backwards with the wave of emotions.

He remembers everything.

The hit.

Brock fighting TK after the hit.

Quinn spilling the salt.

Brock proposing. 

Elias holding the little black puppy in his arms for the rest of that night.

Coolie.

Milo.

Picking the blue and green curtains in the apartment.

And Elias shakes it off. He’s about to get married.

Vows are a funny thing, and it took Elias a long while to write his.

And remember them.

“Brock Boeser.” Elias grins. “When I met you, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. You changed my life, even if you did let me pick ugly curtains for the apartment.”

All the guests laugh, and so does Brock.

“You are the best person ever. I love you.”

Brock says something, but Elias isn’t paying attention. He’s watching Brock’s facial expressions.

They do the whole ceremonial thing, but Elias isn’t listening until he’s saying “I do,” and leaning into Brock’s space.

“Hey Brock.” Elias whispers right before they kiss. 

“Hm?” Brock is grinning. Elias loves his smile.

“I just remembered.” 

They kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL I DID IT!!! I literally love Elias, probably because we share a birthday, but you know.
> 
> THANK YOU ALL FOR READING THIS!! ALL THE COMMENTS AND KUDOS MEANT A TON TO ME!!

**Author's Note:**

> Petey’s song is totally She Wolf by Shakira but I would never admit that :)


End file.
